I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.
― Flannery O’Connor
I’ve never been good at this so what you see below is a sort of self-introduction, over-dramatised, a throwback to the first post on this blog and personal, in a way. It’s rambling but based on what goes on in my head almost every day. or you could start here if you’re visiting for the first time.
hello, I’m D!
For memories that propel us, wounds that run deep and people who teach.
~the introduction~
I sometimes talk to myself, most of my first friends are imaginary and I love words. I’m constantly reminded of how much words have changed me as a person. I think I think too much, way more than adults think is healthy. And I sometimes formulate responses, plan escapes, and prepare for circumstances before I’ve even entered into a conversation.
~the weird part~
I sometimes feel left out in the world, and often end up being too nonchalant for my own good. I can rarely contribute to conversations because I’m too afraid of my words either being wrong or not making sense but mostly because I have no clue what everyone else is talking about.
I like reading movie plots instead of watching the whole thing; I enjoy envisioning people from words rather than taking in another’s portrayal and I’m too impatient to sit through a movie unless I really want to watch it. I sometimes end up rambling, talking too much if I’m annoyed or confused. I love the night, be it going out for a walk or simply sitting under the sky, but I’d be terrified if I ended up locked in a dark room.
~random thoughts~
I often feel concerned for strangers. Sometimes I wonder about how many stories go unwritten, and I feel like immortality might be interesting if I get to write every person’s story. Sometimes I sense pain in a fleeting gaze, anger in a smile or concern when someone talks about groceries.
~interests~
I started with stories, found out journalling was therapeutic and somehow fell into Poetry. I don’t think any of what I write is good but they’re human and I like to think it’s what provides essence to our basic sense of humanity. I wish to remain a lifelong student and I love getting feedback and constructive criticism on all that I do. I enjoy drawing, love music and live for stories.
I don’t write or talk about it much here, but I love Science – more than English or writing or even art. I’m sometimes ashamed of the thought because I think Science can be art too or maybe because I understand writing better than I’ll ever understand Science. Science more often than not, makes me feel dumb but I crave that need to learn more, to understand how we came into being or why we did. It’s got this whole aura of discovery and exploration and has a purpose in its gait. And I’m a Christian. Science and religion just don’t seem to go hand in hand, at least not yet but I would very much like to see them do.
~more thoughts~
It’s a random world and I love how there’s no algorithm to predict where our humanity leads us. There’s no rhythm to pain or anxiety. Grief can be an authentic journey of self-discovery and it hurts so much but there’s a blinding light that carries you through. The pattern where joy and sorrow seem to end up in a cycle is comforting but we never know how long they might last.
I’m a random person, lost but enjoying every second of this unpredictability that life casts. Not because it’s fun but because the uncertainty has a certain charm to it, it’s not beautiful or thrilling, just charming. The way you feel when the book you’re reading is interesting, not good or bad but interesting and you want that second to just ponder on life, not think what comes next and turn the page in your own time.
It’s a random world and I’m calling it art because it justifies my over-analyzing it.
Random art, it is.
And when random is art, I like to think we all are.
We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion.
– Robin Williams In Dead Poets Society
Oh, and my pet dog, Willy who is a seven-year-old Pug is my best friend. You’ll be seeing him here every now and then!
Recommended Reads:
~the following are relevant to this page in their own ways~
Please note that the stock images used in blog posts are (usually) from Pexels or Unsplash and the graphics are designed by me, using Canva.
© Random Specific Thoughts 2023
Random Specific Thoughts 
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