18

“Remember, it’s still a mystery to be an adult. If you knew it all before eighteen, you’d have nothing to look forward to.”
― Carew Papritz, The Legacy Letters: his Wife, his Children, his Final Gift

I imagine 18 to be my first step to independence and my first whiff of free will and freedom and everything beautiful. I imagine 18 to be a door to a world where I can learn whatever I want, buy as many books as I want, make scrapbooks and simply live. 18 is that world of love where you get to pave the path for your life, where you spent your days learning that one subject that you love so much that it keeps you up at night in a manic frenzy to understand and learn more.

18 is beautiful and terrifying – a perfectly balanced mixture of chaos, a world free of high school drama and devoid of ‘You’re too young to say things like that’ and I look forward to that sense of humane acknowledgement. When I hear 18, I envision late nights poring over books about things I truly want to learn under skies speckled with stars and driving aimlessly with music blaring, fearless and independent.

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

I look forward to exerting my right of being a citizen and voicing political opinions and asking daring questions where I can no longer be told “You’re too young to understand.” There is a certain recklessness that accompanies the first step to adulthood, an impulsive need for acknowledgement and a pre-requisite respect that adults command by virtue of being an adult but I rather feel numb about it all.

I don’t mind bidding farewell to childhood or teenage, but I desperately hope I can keep my poor sense of humour and remain impartial to the world and continue to see everything as a child would – daring and raw.

I’m going to be that adult that doesn’t think children can have opinions worth sharing – I would rather turn to them for advice and I’m going to be a child with them. I’m going to play tag and pore over memes and fangirl over books. And when the time’s right, we’ll grow up together.

“Where should I go?” -Alice
“That depends on where you want to end up.” – The Cheshire Cat
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass

Thoughtfully yours,
D

If you’re comfortable with it, tell me what you were or are excited about turning 18!

I feel like I’ll come back to this post a few years from now and laugh at my naive 18-year old self for being so soaked in fantasy but I’m going to enjoy this state of recklessness while it lasts!

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On a sadder note, this will be the last post on Random Specific Thoughts for a while. I hope to post once a month while on hiatus and be back by June/July but none of it is set in stone. As always, I appreciate your constant support more than words could say.